Completely Surprised !

I can believe it, but still I’m surprised. I just found out I am pregnant! I took the pregnancy test just to take it. I didn’t think it would be positive. I did wait to check the test. After the few minutes I looked over and I saw “PREGNANT”. My mouth was open so wide a bug could’ve gone in. I was so sure it was going to be a negative test. 

I was completely surprised !!!

It was already 12am everyone was asleep except my husband and I. So I went to the living room where he was watching a movie. I’m sure my mouth was still wide open because as soon as he saw me he asked me what was wrong. I showed him the PREGNANT sign on the pregnancy test. He was smiling. It took me a while to smile too. I couldn’t believe I was pregnant with my fourth baby. 

I was happy, but all I could think of was my little tot that is still breastfeeding, and how he was no longer going to be the baby. How is he going to feel? Then I started to think about my previous cesarean sections. This will be the forth. I started to panic and think of everything that could go wrong. I told my husband I needed time to process it.  He wanted to wake everyone up and tell everyone we know. He was so excited. I was too, but more worried than excited at that moment.

I took another test And it said NOT PREGNANT. I was kind of sad to see that. Yes it is scary to be pregnant. There’s no way of truly knowing if everything is ok with the baby until seeing the baby when he or she is born. But, it is wonderful to be able to be pregnant and have a baby in my arms. The smell of a baby is just wonderful. Their cries so beautiful. I always knew I would like another baby, but I can never plan for the right time. 

 After a long prayer at night I was able to fall asleep. With another prayer in the morning I was able to stop worrying about the ‘what ifs’. Instead I started thinking of how big of a blessing it will be to have another little one running around. 

Later that day my husband couldn’t contain his excitement and let his parents, sisters and our kiddos know that we are pregnant, again!