children · emotionally intelligent · husband · marriage · parenting · self assured · shopping · Uncategorized

Why Do I Feel Guilty?

I’ve heard of other mothers say they feel guilty when going to the store and wanting to purchase something for themselves. I struggle with that. I can come up with 20 reasons why I shouldn’t purchase a cute shirt or a very cute dress for myself. I enjoy going to the stores to look around for hours. It is so much fun to see the cute clothes and try them on.

Now that both my older kiddos go to school, I like going with my lil one to the store. I don’t have to worry about him running around yet. I strap him on to the shopping cart and go around the store looking at everything without interruptions. When I find something cute for my kiddos it’s so easy to grab it. I can easily justify the purchase. When it comes to something for me, I just can’t. I sometimes grab something, but once I am about to stand in line to pay, I set it on the side and leave the store.

I’ve been meaning to purchase running shoes for my self. I don’t have any. I don’t need them to exercise, but to go to the kiddos activities or play outside with them. I have gone to many stores. I have spent countless hours of my time, and still have not made the purchase. I can’t justify spending 60 something dollars on a pair of shoes for me.

Today I went to another store and after 40 minutes I picked out two pairs of shoes. I couldn’t make up my mind. I sent a picture to my husband and asked him what he thought. He, like always, said to pick whichever I liked best. I couldn’t decide, so I called him to hear him tell me which I should pick. Why am I so indecisive? When it comes to the kiddos I know what I need to do. I consider my self very assertive, unless I’m in this situation.

I ended up purchasing the two pairs of  shoes, but once I saw the price I started feeling nauseous. I finished paying and I thought,”I can always come back and return them”. I left feeling sick. I thought it might have been because I didn’t have breakfast, but then I remembered I did have breakfast. Driving back home I started thinking about the shoes. Again I considered my options. I could return the shoes. I started to feel sick again, but then I thought…Oh my goodness! What is wrong with me? I must be going crazy if I’m getting sick over purchasing shoes! I’ve  made up my mind. I’m not looking back. I’m keeping the shoes!

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